How Do Romance Scams Work?

Meeting someone special can be exciting, whether it’s through an online dating app or social media. No one ever wants to believe that the person they are getting to know wants to harm them financially.

But this is sometimes the case, and romance scams have become more common than ever. The FTC reported $547 million lost to romance scammers in 2021, a record for this type of crime and 80% more than just the year before_[1].

How can you protect yourself against someone who is just looking for financial gain? Learn more about the warning signs and what to do if you suspect you’ve been affected.

What is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam is a type of financial crime where the perpetrator pretends to be someone else and starts a fake romantic relationship to get money. They prey on the victim’s want for companionship or their sympathy for a bad situation, extorting money through lies.

How Do Romantic Scams Work?

A romance scam starts when you meet someone online that you don’t know in real life. Scammers typically have a fake social media profile with an attractive photo and a job requiring travel, such as military work. They likely won’t be in the local Indiana area.

After a time, the scammer shares their romantic interest in you and may even say they are in love. Before long, they request money, either for them or a family member, to help them get out of some kind of trouble.

There is almost always a sense of urgency; they will ask for money in a hurry before their situation gets worse. They may ask for money to be sent as gift cards or cryptocurrency.

Of course, the stories aren’t real, and neither is their fondness for you. They may have this same "relationship" with others, hoping to get as much money or gift cards as possible before they get found out – or the victims run out of money to send.

What Can Happen if You Fall to a Romance Scammer?

If you find yourself in a scam like this, you may never get your money back. It may be impossible to find out who the person is in real life to pursue charges against them. The criminals use fake profiles to communicate, and it may be hard to know anything real about them.

A scammer may harass or threaten you when you try to end the relationship. Cutting off contact can anger them, and they may try to extort more money from you by threatening to share personal information or photos. They may also try to convince you that no one will believe your account of the scam.

Dating Scam Warning Signs to Look out For 

While there are many variations of the romance scam, and they change all the time, the premise stays the same. They offer a long-distance relationship that seems loving but then only ask for money.

You may notice some of the common signals of the scam:

• The scammer is never able to meet in person due to a job or travel.
• They ask for money, often right away. The scammer may claim it’s for medical expenses, to avoid losing their home, or to pay for travel to see you.
• They provide detailed instructions on how to pay. Instead of letting you decide how to help, they will tell you how to buy a gift card, the type of card to buy, and how to send it. They may coach you on what to say at the store or to friends or family who question your motives.

If you push back against the request or take too long to help them, they may get more desperate with their stories. They may even claim that their kids will suffer if you don't help soon. All of this is to get an emotional response so they can get money before you change your mind. Pressure is one way they make victims do what they want and not consult friends or family for advice.

What To Do if You Fall for a Romance Scam?

If you’ve already sent money or gift cards to someone, you may be a victim of a crime.

Even if you have yet to send anything, the FTC recommends the following:

• Quit talking to the person.
• Share what’s happened with someone you know and trust.
• Do an online search for the person’s job and “scammer.” You may find others who have experienced what you have and get confirmation that you should stay away.
• Use a reverse image search tool, such as Google, to see if the photo is fake or being used by a real person without their knowledge.

If you have sent money, contact the FTC and report the scam. You should also flag the person’s profile on the social media platform you met them on. It may not stop them from creating another account, but it could help prevent them from hurting others – at least temporarily.

Notify the company you used to send the funds.  Notifying the issuer immediately alerts them to what happened, whether it’s a gift card, wire transfer, cryptocurrency, or debit card payment. The issuer may be able to assist in requesting the funds be returned, however, many times the request is unsuccessful.

Keeping Your Money Safe from Scam and Scammers

No one wants to be a victim of a crime or have their emotions manipulated. By taking things slow and refusing to send money to people you’ve never met in person, you can reduce the chances of being scammed. It also pays to check your financial accounts often and alert your bank to anything you feel is suspicious.

Get more digital tools for managing finances (and tips for staying safe) on our resources page.

Sources:

[1] What do Know about Romance Scams, FTC.gov, August 2022, https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams